The Sorrows of Young Werther: May 17.
All our friends will move away, and they're going to better places, but our friends will be gone away.
I have made all sorts of acquaintances, but haven’t found any real friends so far. It’s weird how so many people seem to gravitate to me and like me on a shallow level, and then I feel sorry when our ways part just as quickly. If you asked me what the people here are like, I’d have to answer, „The same as everywhere.“ Most of their time is spent at their jobs, and their free time makes them so anxious they’d like to go to six brunches and also mow the lawn within a single day. It would be almost endearing it if wasn’t so terribly boring!
And the people here are boring, but nice. Sometimes I fall off my high horse and join them at their dinners and small town festivals or a hike with my aunt. I genuinely enjoy myself at whatever party they throw. And wow, then (to no one’s surprise) I feel better and that everything is going to be alright in the world. But I have to be careful, otherwise I’ll start actually thinking about my future plans, and if I think about that too much then nothing good will come out of this. And then I’m back to feeling moody.
These days I’m remembering my childhood friend again. Sometimes I regret ever knowing her, a brutal thought. I’ve put her on a pedestal, and probably in every girl’s face I look for something that cannot be found anymore. But she has been mine, once. I possessed that good heart who made me feel like a better person than I really was, because the possibilities seemed to be endless. Whenever I was with her, I felt free to be the real me, and I knew she felt the same about me. We would talk for hours on end feeling so smart and amazing, and felt that time still passed too quickly when it came to us. I don’t talk much about her, given that we really ran out of time too soon. She never got to grow up (I don’t want to talk about that today), but I still remember her as this girl who was a full head taller than me, tangling her fingers with me during lunch break, buzzing with life and joy.
A few days ago I met a guy named V., a very handsome extrovert. He has just graduated uni, doesn’t think he’s the next genius in the making, but probably still believes he’s smarter than the rest. He still works his ass off, being involved in all sorts of creative projects. The other day we bumped into each other and he asked about my drawing skills and my Greek (I’m a real unicorn in this part of the country) and started rambling to me for two hours about linguistics 101 and art theory and philosophy intro classes he took three years ago. I ignored the urge to run, he seemed nice at least.
Another person I’m sort of acquainted with is the district judge, a frank and open-hearted man. People told me he’s the most fun whenever he’s around his children … his NINE children. Especially his oldest daughter sounds like a great person everybody seems to like here. He has invited me to drop by his house, and I’m planning to do that soon. He lives on the opposite end of the town, but you can walk there taking a shortcut through the woods. He moved there after his wife tragically died to have some peace and quiet and to focus on his kids.
I could also tell you the most bizarre things about the weirdest people who’ve tried to befriend me here, but I think I can leave it at „bizarre“ and „weird“ and you’ll get the general idea.
Byeee! You love longwinded e-mails clogging your inbox :D Have fun checking another 57 in your spam folder or something.